3 ingredients that affect the “taste of instruction”

From an early age I have tasted the fruit of instruction (read “instruction”, as in feedback, constructive criticism, or correction). Initially I did not like it at all because it always brought me face to face with the reality of my shortcomings. The Bible instucts "A truly good friend will openly correct you. You can trust a friend who corrects you, but kisses from an enemy are nothing but lies." (Proverbs chapter 27 verses 5 and 6)

Over the years, I've learned that the fruit of instruction can taste sweet, bitter-sweet, bitter, or you could choke on it.

I believe “the taste of instruction” is dependent on 3 ingredients: (1) the recipient - the person receiving the instruction, (2) the ego of the recipient, and (3) the provider – the person giving the instruction.

1. The Recipient could be either willing/committed to receiving instruction or firmly unwilling to listen to any instruction (actually most of us are somewhere in-between depending on topic).
2. The Ego of the recipient could be small or large (realistically all of us are somewhere in between the two extremes).
3. The Provider could approach the situation either in a humble/compassionate way or in a totally derogatory manner (I think most providers are somewhere in-between depending on attitude, skill and competency).

So, what will “instruction” taste like if we mix the 3 ingredients? Here’s what I’ve learned to expect:

• SWEET: Anytime the recipient is willing to receive instruction, has a small ego, and the provider is humble.
• BITTER-SWEET: Anytime the recipient is willing, and one or both of the following are true: the ego is large, and/or the provider is derogatory. The sweetness comes from the participant being willing to learn in all situations. The amount of bitterness is directly proportionate to the amount of ego and the level of derogatory attitude of the provider.
• BITTER: Anytime the recipient is unwilling to receive instruction.
• CHOKE HAZARD: The recipient is unwilling to receive instruction, has a large ego, and the provider is derogatory. (Ouch!)