More on Integrity

Dr. Henry Cloud in his book “Integrity” defines character as the ability to meet the demands of reality.  The implication is that the entire person works well together to effectively handle all the realities facing a person.  He shares six character dimensions that must work well together for a person to have a good “wake”: establishing trust, oriented toward truth, getting results, embracing the negative, oriented toward increase and oriented toward transcendence.  This blog entry will briefly cover each dimension.

·         Establishing Trust – This is the ability to connect in authentic ways with others.  The danger is interpreting personal opinion as the obvious reality – the attitude is that “everyone else is clearly wrong or not yet seeing it”.  The leader is not really listening to others or may have an inability to connect with what others are feeling, thinking, or experiencing.  Trust is established when the led understand that the leader understands and empathizes.  However, trust must mature beyond understanding into knowing that the leader will do what is in the best interest of the led (engaging them in the process); at this level a trust, a person no longer feels the need to be guarded.  With the guard down, people can be authentic and vulnerable with each other; this is the point when trust is solidified.

·         Oriented Toward Truth – Regardless of how difficult to face, truth is always a better alternative.  A leader must look at the available data and find the courage to ask the tough questions that uncover truth.  Explaining away truth (a.k.a. self-deceit) seems to take more emotional energy and adds personal stress than coming to terms with reality.  Deception always fears the truth and fear adds stress.  A leader of character must have the courage to disconnect the self-defense mechanisms and face reality; they must have a deep hunger for truth rather than comfort, and willingness to accept the new information and adapt to it.

·         Getting Results – To get results, the leader must know their own skills and talents.  Given his strengths, the leader of character will know to maintain the right boundaries (i.e. stay away from the jobs that do not suit him).  This requires the personal integrity and confidence to admit the strengths, and the humility to accept the limitations.  In addition to skills and talents, a leader who gets results invests in preparation and planning.  When the course of action is identified, the leader once again needs to tap into courage – this time is the courage to make difficult decisions to achieve the desired results.  The challenge here is choosing between conflicting goals that govern the decision making process.  The courage to make decisions must be partnered with perseverance to overcome obstacles and the knowledge to handle failure and setbacks. 

·         Embracing the Negative – A leader who accepts the assumption that life will bring problems is better equipped to handle them.  Facing this reality recalibrates the leader’s attitude toward difficulties – they are expected events rather than surprising interruptions.  Given this assumption, the leader must learn to recover quickly from problems and to separate his own identity from the issue he is facing.  Additionally, a leader cannot pass the responsibility to others – the leader owns the results and the issue; however, that does not mean that a leader does not confront issues or people.   The art of confrontation is rooted in the first two aspects of character:  trust and truth.

·         Oriented Toward Increase – The difficulty with character is that it constantly needs to be improved even after many years of maturity. A leader must not be satisfied with the status quo – the leader must look to grow and mature.  Growth is a sign of life and it happens consistently in life; however, growth does not happen uniformly throughout life.  Growth often means taking risks; however Cloud makes a distinction between risk and gambling.  Risk taken after calculated planning is growth not gambling.  Growth always requires an investment of time, money, or both and a submission to some type of growth structure or plan as well as formal and informal mentors.

·         Oriented Toward Transcendence – A mature character must see the world as bigger than the self.  Without this grand vision, a leader becomes narcissistic and self absorbed.  Facing the reality of transcendence is part of the growth a person must go through to have a balanced “wake”.

Integrity

Dr. Henry Cloud’s book “Integrity” tackles the challenge of connecting character to the day to day activities many people face in the work, family, or personal environments.  He shows that being competent at a skill and knowing how to build mutually beneficial relationships is not enough.  Cloud argues that integrity and character (i.e. who a person is) hold people back from getting the results they believe they should achieve.  To make his point, he deconstructs the common personal defense mechanisms that people build over the years to uncover personal truth. Starting with the initial point of truth, Cloud provides a way of thinking about character that goes beyond the traditional definition of integrity and aligns with skill-competency and relationships.

A foundational metaphor that Cloud uses in his book is the wake of a boat.  The wake is a person’s character. The two sides of the wake represent the task to be accomplished and the relationships encountered.  Examining both sides of the wake (their smoothness) provides insight into someone’s personal issues.  How the wake ripples are handled is more telling about a person than the actual presence of the ripples.

Leading-the-Self

Leading-the-Self is a foundational discipline that needs to be practiced first before all other disciplines.  It gives power to the other disciplines since it enables the self to be real and alert.  Leading-the-Self is the discipline of taking time for personal reflection and intimacy with God.  It is taking care of one’s soul first before ministering to others.  It requires critical observation and self knowledge to hear and interpret what the physical body and emotions are saying.   This discipline often surfaces in solitude.  Jesus withdrew to “lonely places”.  The greater the demands of Jesus the more he prioritized his need for solitude.  [Luke 6:12]
 
Leading-the-Self requires intentional observation to see the true self with all its limitations and not build defense mechanisms to compensate.  It requires a humble attitude of brokenness before God, striving to live pro-gospel and counter-culture.   Leading-the-Self engages in confession by choosing to change the pattern of sinful behavior, and embraces detachment by rejecting idolatry in its many forms.  Leading-the-Self practices secrecy; forgetting the need for appreciation and running away from personal grandiosity, ministry gets done without the need for others to know “who you are”.  Lastly, leading-the-self requires submission – this is intentional and volunteer placing of oneself under the authority of someone else.

Solitude & Community

The cycle of solitude and community provides additional insight into the rhythm of life. Spiritual transformation requires a trusted community to help process it.

Spiritual transformation thrives in a community that understands sin, yet practices grace.

The community must practice a healthy cycle of movement between group discussions and times of reflection. Spiritual formation does not flourish through control or authority, nor is it meant to produce clones.

Each human being is to display the uniqueness of what it means to display the image of Christ in them.

Work & Rest

The cycle of work and rest provides insight into the rhythm of life.  God revealed this rhythm through his creation.  He worked for six days and rested on the seventh [Genesis 2:2,3].  Although work is God-given, it is not meant to go on non-stop.  Rest must interrupt work.  The same 6 + 1 rhythm is seen in the laws concerning Sabbath and the year of Jubilee [Leviticus 25:8; Deuteronomy 15].  A common challenge in the rhythm of work and rest is knowing when and how to move from work to rest and from rest to work.  For example, the religious leaders during Jesus day attempted to create rules for rest; however these ended up as more work rather than what God intended [Matthew 12:1-8].  With that awareness, any specific suggestions or advice received regarding rest must be viewed as guiding principles for rest rather than specific rules.

Take-away thought:  Leisure activities do NOT equal REST.

responding to life’s challenges

Spiritual transformation happens in the context of everyday life as one cultivates a sense of reality and responds effectively.  The following five steps are based on Allender’s model described in his book “Leading With a Limp”:  (1) see, (2) understand, (3) act, (4) share, and (5) remember.  These steps provide a framework for understanding the rhythm of effectively responding to life’s challenges.  First, it is critical to see – face the current truth regardless of its difficulty.  Second, facing the facts is not enough; facts need to be understood in the context of their complexity.  Third, understanding has to move into appropriate action that transforms the heart (the core of being as a person).  Fourth, heart transformation occurs in community not isolation.  Fifth, finding ways to continually remember will fuse the new-found transformation to the innermost being of a person.

Reflect

The internal work is amplified by a reflective life style.  Spiritual transformation is facilitated by personal reflection regarding identity, activities, and desires. This activity is not common in the western church but may be learned from brothers and sisters in the East – which highlights the need for community.

The process of spiritual transformation is communal.  Since spiritual formation is always for the sake of others rather than being privatized or individualized, it takes place in a God-centered community.  Long term, sustained change is always nurtured in an environment that is grace oriented and grace-filled rather than in an environment of judgment, shame, criticism, institutionalism, ridicule, guilt, condescension, and condemnation. The process of spiritual transformation is based on the truth of intimacy between God and man. 

Discover

Since spiritual transformation is initiated by God for every believer, it is important to discover the processes, rhythms and disciplines of spiritual transformation.  Although these do not follow a cookie-cutter approach for each believer, there are some notable patterns and principles that emerge.

Spiritual transformation is a process not an event.  The process usually focuses at the points of most unlikeness to the image of Jesus; these could be relational problems, sexual issues, temper, envy, or pride. It is particularly important to observe the areas where the heart opposes a particular scriptural teaching or prompting of the Holy Spirit.  Additionally, the process of spiritual transformation is always inside out -- it is the internal work of change in the core of being as a person not external work of controlling people and circumstances.

Art and Mystery

God’s mission of restoration (which includes spiritual transformation) is more divine artistry and mystery than human planning, science, and methodology [Isaiah 55:8,9; Psalm 33].  Spiritual transformation is rooted in surrendering control to God, rather than a try-as-you-might, do-it-yourself process or knowledge.  Job is a valuable example in this case because Job was not transformed by his own efforts or by the answers God gave him but rather Job was transformed by God’s questions, which ultimately remained a mystery [Job 38-42]. 
 
Using Job as example, we see that it was not Job’s self-will and determination but Job’s circumstances that facilitated spiritual transformation.  Similarly, it is not our human determination that brings about transformation, instead we need to create (or allow for) conditions and environments in which spiritual transformation can take place.  A person can only monitor the atmosphere and environment to ensure it cultivates transformation (i.e. likeness to Christ, rather than self-actualization).  Environment conditions that cultivate transformation include prayer, scripture meditation, and practices (often called spiritual disciplines) that enhance intimacy with God.

maturity

One of the greatest summaries of spiritual formation is: becoming like Christ.  It is appropriate to talk about trans-formation rather than just formation.  Spiritual transformation is part of the process of human maturity.  Full human maturity is not just reaching physical maturity, but rather Christ-likeness in all aspects of life.  To that end, God is seeking to restore (to transform) the broken image in man and achieve the full humanity that was designed at creation and embodied in Christ.  He is the goal of spiritual transformation.

soul care

Spiritual formation and spiritual leadership are key terms used in spiritual formation discussions and are essential to soul care .  Soul care starts with critical observation – this is the discipline of noticing the condition of the heart (the core of being as a person).  It includes the intentional examination of feelings, personal spirit, the voice of God, and how things in the environment are affecting the heart.  Of special importance is observing and understanding the areas of resistance – the areas where the heart opposes a particular teaching.  Because the terms spiritual formation and spiritual leadership have a strong relationship to each other it is important to articulate the interdependencies and distinctions between them.

Prayer

Lord God, in your great mercy, you decided to reveal part of who you are through the written words of the Scriptures. Through the scriptures we have learned of your great power to create the universe and everything in it. You are sovereign over all, and there is no one like you. Your word has shown us how different your ways are from our ways. We’ve observed how your hand guides the nations to accomplish your plan. Lord, we know there are no dark places that can hide us from you gaze. Our words are known to you before we even speak them; and our actions are not a surprise to you. You, Lord are holy and righteous. Your justice is perfect and your grace is sufficient. Your love is overwhelming. You are the only eternal, true, and living God.

Lord, how awesome it is that you have extended your hand to us so that we may get to know you in a personal way, and experience you in an intimate relationship. Through the death and resurrection of Jesus, your son, you have granted us permission to be called children of God.

Father, how can we even begin to thank you for the privilege of standing in your presence? Should we fall silent to the floor in awe? Or should we shout with joy? Should we lift our hands to you with singing, or dance before you like King David? Lord, we know it is right to worship you in spirit and in truth, so regardless of our outward response, please soften our hearts so that we may completely surrender ourselves to you.

Take my life, and let it be consecrated, Lord, to Thee.
Take my moments and my days; let them flow in ceaseless praise.
Take my hands, and let them move at the impulse of Thy love.
Take my feet, and let them be swift and beautiful for Thee.
Take my voice, and let me sing always, only, for my King.
Take my lips, and let them be filled with messages from Thee.
Take my silver and my gold; not a mite would I withhold.
Take my intellect, and use every power as Thou shalt choose.
Take my will, and make it Thine; it shall be no longer mine.
Take my heart, it is Thine own; it shall be Thy royal throne.
Take my love, my Lord, I pour at Thy feet its treasure store.
Take myself, and I will be ever, only, all for Thee.

Look deep into our hearts, God, and know our thoughts. Please don't let us follow evil ways, but lead us in your way. Our desire is to trust you regardless of the circumstances we’re in and to obey you in all things.

...like an annoying song

I recently had to return several library books that my family had checked out. As I was placing each one in the return bin, two words from the title of one of the books stood out to me – it read “Going Solo…”

I did not think much of it at the time, but the title stuck with me. I thought about it later that afternoon. I thought about it the next day, and the next, and the next. It was like an annoying song that gets in your head, and you keep singing over and over in your mind.

I’m not an expert in how the mind works, but while I was thinking about “Going Solo…” there were several other thoughts that “danced” around it; here they are in no particular order.

We live in a culture that admires individuality. We love (generally speaking) the “Lone Ranger”, “Superman”, “Indiana Jones”, and “Rocky”. So we admire people who beat the odds – but are they really going SOLO?

• We are NOT created to be lone rangers. If that was the case, then solitary confinement would be an enjoyable pass time rather than something they use in prisons.
• There is something very selfish about “going solo” – no one else to worry about, my rules, my time, my life. I will do what I want to do and no one can tell me otherwise.
• “Going solo” temps us to think simplistically. But we are not simple creatures. All of us at one time or another have struggled (are struggling) with questions of origin (who am I, where did I come from), meaning (why am I here, what is my purpose in this life, I want to do something meaningful), morality (what is the right thing, who can set the standard for right and wrong, what is justice), and destiny (what happens when/after I die, is there an eternity).

Think about it…

the rhythm of regular life

After the angels finished their chorus, after the shepherds went back to their sheep, and perhaps after the magi left their gifts and returned to their homelands, Mary and Joseph had to go back to the rhythm of regular life. In all likelihood that meant cooking, cleaning, laundry, and a job that put food on the table. I would not be surprised if Mary and Joseph pondered the events that went by as they went about the daily work. It’s quite normal to think about an exciting or meaningful event days, months, and even years after it happened – to replay in your mind the sounds, the images, the words spoken, and the smells of that event.

For me, when I think of the Christmas story, I linger over the words the angel spoke to Joseph in his dream (see Mathew 1: 20):

But as he considered these things, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him
in a dream, saying, "Joseph, son of David, do not fear to take Mary as your
wife, for that which is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will bear
a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their
sins."

The angel reminds Joseph that in spite of his humble circumstances, he is royalty – he is the son (descendant) of king David. That must have encouraged Joseph. Others saw him as a carpenter, but God saw him as a prince.

As Christians, we too are encouraged in a similar way (see 1Peter 2:9):

But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his
own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out
of darkness into his marvelous light. Once you were not a people, but now
you are God's people; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received
mercy.

So in the rhythm of regular life, I pray that my thoughts, words, actions, and motives would proclaim the excellencies of Him who called me out or darkness into His marvelous light.

I want the “wow!” back!

This summer I happened to be on a walk through some of the nearby woods when I spotted a butterfly on a flower. I got very close and, to my surprise, the butterfly did not move and instead, it let itself be examined by my curious eyes. I thought it was quite “cool”, so in my excitement I showed it to a young person who was with me that day. “Oh, it’s just a butterfly” was the casual response and then moved on.

With my excitement a little deflated, I too moved on, but I could not help thinking: was the miracle of creation passing us by without so much as a “wow!”? Perhaps we have seen too many pictures of these beautiful creatures and the spectacular pictures have dulled our senses to the miracle of the real thing.

I guess familiarity does breed contempt; and it’s true in other areas of our life not just the miracle of creation. I believe that many Christians too often look at the Scripture stories in a casual way because we’ve “been there and done that” Bible story before.

Have we forgotten that we are dealing with a sacred and ancient text that was put together over several centuries by many individuals from various economic and social backgrounds in geographically dispersed locations? And in spite of so many differences, the messages contained in the Scriptures are consistent, accurate, and life-changing? (WOW!) Do we not remember, have we not seen the power that comes from the Word (the real thing)?

Yea, I want the “wow!” back.